Marriage Humour

**kamthanki** · Mar 10th, 2010, 18:18

Some oldies here, some Ive not heard before

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiry date.'

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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'

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Stress Reliever
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'We ll that's because we aren't married yet.'

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Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'

Husbands are husbands

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'

**yuvrajdhariwal** · Mar 15th, 2010, 06:41

good man keep it up!
add some more

**karan1070** · May 9th, 2012, 11:40

Very nice,Please continue to post these kind of hilarious things.

**johnraj** · May 10th, 2012, 12:59

Good jokes with pleasant humour.

**lyla678** · May 21st, 2012, 17:28

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'

This is great!!!

**kushy28** · May 2nd, 2013, 10:27

^ very nice funny jokes.

**kushy28** · May 15th, 2013, 12:27

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some
Problems at home and were giving
Each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the
next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper, 'Please wake me at
5:00AM.' He left it where he knew
she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight
Furious, he was about to go and see
why his wife hadn't wakened him, when
he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

**kushy28** · May 16th, 2013, 13:42

Husband & wife - Love your enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die,
I want you to marry Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy!"
"Yes, I know that. I've suffered all these years; so let him suffer now."